In a previous post I mentioned that I would tell the story of how our magick baby came to be; this is that story.
When I first met my husband I never expected that I would fall in love with him, let alone get married and have a child. The main reason is because he is 17 1/2 years older than me. He was kind, and a good friend, and then there was just an instant connection; like we were just meant to be. I came to the conclusion that he was my soul mate and everything in our past was designed specifically to bring us together. We spent only a few months together before actually becoming an item, and then things progressed quickly. People thought we were crazy for moving in together so soon. Some even suggested that because of our age difference I was only with him for his money and soon would be moving on. This was laughable since both of us had just gotten out of messy relationships when we met and he only had 2 bags of clothes to his name and was not working! If you understand astrology sun signs you would wonder how is it a Cancer woman can be compatible with an Aries man? (Both of our moon signs are Taurus). Both sides of our families went up in arms when we actually married 7 months after our official first date. Some members of our families still will not even speak to us even though this month marks 4 years together. So you can imagine how those same family members felt when we decided to have a child!
This was not a decision we took lightly. Both of us had children from previous relationships. For me this was my first planned pregnancy and I knew that if I was going to have a third child I wanted to try before I was 30. My husband was a smoker in his mid 40’s. The odds were against us, and I just didn’t think a pregnancy would be possible with the odds as they were; but as my husband stated; “well why not!” So we decided to try. I now have a taste of what families go through when they have difficulty conceiving a child. I tried adjusting my diet. I tracked my monthly cycles. I tried to be healthier. I tried to encourage my husband to partake in a healthier lifestyle, but month after month I was disappointed when my cycle started. I would break down and silently cry myself to sleep. I would tell myself that maybe it wasn’t meant to be, or I just wasn’t a good enough mother to have another child. I thought that maybe I was being punished for some reason, since this was a baby I wanted more than anything, that maybe it was taking away from my other 2 children who I also loved very much even though both were the results of unplanned, but happy surprise pregnancies. I almost gave up, but then told myself if it was meant to be it would happen.
I wasn’t looking for love when I met my husband, it just happened, so maybe this was the key to having this baby? I decided to turn inward and get back to my spiritual journey. Maybe I wasn’t getting pregnant because I didn’t truly accept myself. Or maybe it was because I was still in conflict with who I really was? I couldn’t be sure, but I did have to learn to accept things the way they were. Then I decided to really set my intentions for adding to our family and really focus on my positive qualities as a mother. I started using green candles for these intentions as green is the color for fertility. I created my own ritual with my husband to connect not just with him, but with all the energy around us on a deeper level. And then one night I instinctively decided to voice my intentions out loud, promising I would be a good mother, and declaring that I was ready for this next chapter of my life. Two weeks later I missed my period and had a positive pregnancy test!
I have no words to describe the miracle it took to bring this special magick baby into the world. She is perfect in every way. She is the perfect balance of my husband and I, and yes she is a Libra baby! When you look at her you just know that there is something different about her; old soul maybe? But where ever we go everyone who sees her has to stop and talk to her. She draws everyone in like a magnet. I truly believe that my husband and I were meant to come together specifically to bring her into this world. I think she has important work to do, and has a very powerful gift of bringing people together.
I want to clarify that this magick may not work for everyone. Some people may have biological issues that just make it impossible to conceive. It took us 9 months, and I understand some try for years with no success and I understand how difficult that may be. The point of this story is that you can’t just go through the moitions and follow the book on being healthy and taking care of yourself physically. You have to go farther. You have to go deep within yourself and set your intentions. You may not always get exactly what you are looking for, but you will get exactly what you need. I was still a little skeptical of my new found spriritualism, but after how our daughter came to be I was a full fledged believer in the power of magick and positive intentions! And I think that is the lesson I was meant to learn. This wasn’t just about my husband and I conceiving a child. This was what needed to happen for me to really find out who I was and what I was meant to do in the world.
My daughter turns 2 next month and it truly has been a magical two years so far. It is a great joy watching her grow and become this wonderful little girl, and I feel so blessed that I got to bring her into this lifetime.