Life happens

I am always telling everyone I meet to go with the flow, or follow their heart whenever they are facing something difficult. Well that is exactly what my family has been doing the past few months.

Life seems to keep throwing obstacles at us and it’s been a constant battle and one thing leads to the other. We’ve gone through the phase of being fearful and not knowing what’s going to come next, to just throwing our hands up and going with the flow!

I had some extremely toxic people in  my life and two years ago I cut the cords and let them go, but their actions keep following us. We kept fighting and since July we have lost 2 homes; first our travel  trailer because we were forced to sell it,  than evicted from our weekly because we were $50 short on  rent and I wasn’t getting my first paycheck for another 8 days! We were on  foot with the girls, pushing a stroller and pulling a wagon of our belongings when some strangers helped us, because none of the local resources would; not even a bus pass for us to get to a shelter! I had to re-home our kitties because of these circumstances, and losing them was devastating for me. I also lost my job because my husband is disabled and physically could not push the stroller and pull the wagon at the same time to get the girls around. I was also never able to get a hold of anyone at work to keep them updated of our situation, so I had to  let it go.

But I  have never given up and all  this time I have kept up  a 4.0 GPA in my masters program. When  I got my financial aid refund we used that to buy a car with a broken window and some other mechanical problems and left the strangers home. Then the car failed smog so we are unable to register it until we can get it repaired, but we do  have a temporary tag on it. We also stay at hotels when we can afford them and I  continue looking for work. I use my phone for internet and I do online surveys to afford diapers and wipes for the girls. We manage just fine and are still happy.

When life throws these obstacles at you, you really start to  understand what is important to you and what isn’t. I finally started going through my storage of belongings I  have been toting around with me all of my adult life (14 years). I started getting rid of things I know longer needed and sold enough of it to be able to afford 2 weeks of rent at a hotel! This is how we have to live for now with  an  eviction on our record. I thought about who I should blame, or who was I angry at the most for these chain of events, but then I took my own advice and found the opportunity!

Yes life is hard and it’s easy to  get mad and blame others, but it really isn’t a way to live. My family has an opportunity to start over again and that is exactly what we are doing. We are scraping by for now, but once again we are saving our money for an RV. Living in our last one for 2 years was when we were truly happy. Everything went downhill when  we tried to  become renters again, so now we are going to go back to what works. I finally found my purpose in life and am really focused on my future as an activist for our planet. This will also correspond nicely with my masters degree, so everything is finally lining up for me.

It’s amazing how things change with just a little adjustment in  your perspective. Our goals are to buy an RV and relocate across the country within the next year. We are tired of Las Vegas and know there are better opportunities in other places. The Government classify’s us as homeless, but we call it freedom!

 

The start of the journey that changed my life

My spiritual journey started when I met my Welsh-Irish husband in the Summer of 2012. I had been lost with no real purpose in life until he introduced me to his Celtic roots and Pagan lifestyle. I was intrigued by this ancient wisdom that he lived by and I immediately started my own research. We took a trip to our local metaphysical store (Crone’s Cupboard in Boise Idaho) where I purchased a couple hundred dollars worth of books, candles, incense, stones and other tools; but mostly books. I was a sponge and it seemed I couldn’t get the information fast enough. I read about candle magick and aromatherapy and realized I had been practicing both for years already. I read about working with animals and familiars and learned that I had my own familiar all along in my cat Kiera (sadly her physical form died earlier this year). I was fascinated with the Druids and Goddesses  and noticed that I had suppressed the feminine side of myself and been immersed in the masculine/patriarchal society like so many today still are. But what really drew me in was learning that I was an empath. There were a lot of “aha” moments from my childhood as I remembered how everyone I knew always came to me when they had a problem, needed a shoulder to cry on, or just needed someone to listen to them. I then understood that many of the emotions I expressed as a child were not always my own, but belonged to those around me; people, animals and even mother nature herself. I started to tune in to myself and learned that I had a deep connection to my intuition and sometimes knew more about people than they knew about themselves.

I was on my spiritual journey during the same time that I was working on my psychology degree, and I must admit there were many times I preferred to read my metaphysical books over my psychology books! But after about a year of studying on my own, I was ready to learn from other people. We joined Golden Thread Grove Church run by our friends and owners of Crone’s Cupboard. It was there where I learned how to read tarot and use stones and crystals for healing and I was finally able to see how powerful this energy and magick is that we all have inside of us. I then turned into another sponge and soon my studies at Liberty University and my studies at Golden Thread Grove were crossing over with each other, (this made for some very interesting discussion boards with my very Christian classmates at Liberty!) I started researching more and more the connection between mind and body both scientifically and spiritually. I was able to explain how some forms of magick worked using terms from psychology. The simplest way I can explain it is; that everything around us is energy including ourselves, and we can manipulate this energy through our thoughts and actions, positive or negative, and that is Magick!

After I completed my degree Summer 2015 and graduated Summa Cum Laude (with highest honors) I realized that I wasn’t done learning. I thought about continuing on to my masters, but instead I wanted to go deeper into my spiritual studies. I ended up taking Tanishka’s (Facebook’s Moon Woman) Red Tent facilitator course and once again had more “aha” moments about why women cycle with the moon and have such deep emotions that can change daily with the phases of the moon. (It wasn’t just because I was a cancer ruled by the moon!) By the way I highly recommend every one read the book The Red Tent by Anita Diamant which can be found on Amazon. You can watch the movie, but the book goes a lot deeper into ancient feminine traditions. This was when I realized that I wanted to start my own Red Tent and help women remember the divine feminine and come back into balance. While building my tent is still in progress, I do what I can to teach this ancient wisdom to everyone; not just women. It’s important for men to find balance too.

Finding the balance between light and dark, the masculine and feminine is why I am here today. I feel it is my purpose to help individuals get back in tune with their inner knowing; their intuition. So many want to make changes in their life but keep getting held back. This is because they are trying to make decisions based on what they think others want rather than listen to their own heart. The masculine society is all about power and control and teaches us that it is wrong to feel emotion. But we fail again and again when we don’t take the time to truly listen to our own desires. Modern Society has forgotten the ancient teachings of the feminine. I want to help them remember.

So now here I am. I have come full circle and am ready to share the knowledge I have gained over the past 4 years and counting. I found it highly appropriate to title this blog Cerridwen’s Wisdom, because not only is she the Welsh Goddess of transformation and keeper of the cauldron of wisdom, she happens to be my husband’s matron Goddess. I have gained a connection to Cerridwen through him and the link is strong. (You can learn more about Cerridwen here). My learning never ends and I continue my studies from many experts in this field through social media and online summits. I am excited for those who are just starting out on their own spiritual path. In the future I will be starting one on one coaching sessions as I get the logistics of the business end worked out. (If anyone feels called to help me speed this process up with a love donation you may do so through paypal and I would be forever grateful for your support.) For now though I will be blogging about various topics that can be helpful for anyone.

Finally if you love this painting of Cerridwen as much as I do please check out the artist’s website Judith Shaw. She has studied Goddess Wisdom for years and paints many beautiful interpretations of them.

I am so glad you are here and I look forward to interacting with my readers so please feel free to comment and share this with others who may be looking to find balance in their lives again.

Thank you, and Blessed Be.